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Eating the Bar and Stealing Patrick Ewing’s TV

By Pauly

Los Angeles, CA

Some days you eat the bar. Some days the bar eats you.

Or something like that quote from The Big Lebowski. We went 1-4 in the NBA. It shoulda been just 1-3 but I went chasing after a loss on a game I should not have bet, but that’s what happens when you’re on tilt. The sad part? I was working on an assignment and didn’t even see the end of either Lakers or Nets games.

Wednesday night sweat: San Antonio -1.5, Bobkittens -2.5, Atlanta -9.5, Lakers -5.5 and Brooklyn +2

We won the first game on our slate when San Antonio easily manhandled Boston in Beantown. The Celtics have been horrible ATS this year and the Spurs look solid this year, so that one was a cakewalk. We shoulda bet 4x on that single game instead of playing the other games. Less is more, right? But we found edges in a few other games so it was tough to resist the math.

We bet numbers and not teams… and HAL420 and the math indicated it was time to start backing the Bobkittens, which was a reverse of our initial plan to Fade the Bobkittens in 2012-13. It was uber-profitable last season so we wanted to continue that trend this year… except it hasn’t been working out. We decided to abandon the original plan and stick with whatever HAL420 suggested. So, we found a spot… the Bobkittens at home against the lowly TorRaptors. Alas, the game was not pretty in the 4Q and we missed a shot at a cover. Fucking shitballs. Shit. Balls.

Then things got ugly. After starting 1-0, we shit the bed on the next four bets. The Bobkittens made us 1-1 for the night and it was all downholl.

Normally I don’t like to lay more than a TD in pro hoops, especially on the road, but the Wizards have yet to win a game this year. We enacted a Fade the Wiz selection and went with Atlanta -9.5. That was an another ugly game. The Wiz had chances to win it in regulation and again in overtime… but they whiffed on both opportunities. The poor poor poor Wiz are still winless.

Here’s the final play of the game that got waved off…

Atlanta won, but didn’t cover. That’s not right. C’est la vie.

Earlier in the day, I recorded a podcast with Jesse May and I said something about fading the Lakers because… 1) the Lakers are heavily bet public team, and 2) the Lakers as a team are horrendous free throw shooters, particularly Dwight Howard.

Free throws. Free. Throws. Free. Let me say this again… free throws. They are fucking free, so take advantage of free fucking points!

So why the hell did I back the Lakers at -5.5 when I knew they couldn’t hit free throws to save their lives? Well, they were playing the Sa-crap-mento Kings and the numbers indicated a blowout. Except someone fed the Kings some powerful pills because they destroyed the Lakers in the second half. Ugliness abounds. So much for the genius of D’Antoni. The offensive guru’s team looked lost.

We chased bad money by throwing more bad money at it. Hence, the Brooklyn Nets. I also went against my gut and faded the Golden State Warriors, when they had been my bail out team all season. If there was ever a time to call in the wolf and bet Golden State… it was last night! Nope. We bucked tradition and tried to shake things up by listening to the math.

Had I stuck with my gut, I would have… 1) faded the Bobkittens, 2) passed on a -9.5 spread, 3) faded the Lakers, and 4) bet Golden State. We woulda been 4-0 had I listened to my gut.

The gut beats math on most days.

Overall in the NBA we slipped to 32-26-2.


Check out this hysterical story about the time Jalen Rose stole Patrick Ewing’s TV…

Filed under NBA Bobkittens