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4th and 29 and Fireman Ed’s Swan Song

By Pauly

Los Angeles, CA

"It was a one outer," I tried to explain to Joe Speaker about how we won a wager on the Baltimore Ravens.

The Ravens were backed up and Flacco opted for a screen pass on 4th and 29 to their veteran RB Ray Rice… except Rice scattered and scampered 25 plus yards and then dove for the last few inches. Did he really run 30 yards for a first down?

It looked close.

Rice was brought down by the converging pile just short of the imaginary yellow line. Of course in real life, Rice only has the yard marker on the sideline as a guide. One zebra gave him the first down while the others conferred. It took several minutes before the zebras got the call right and awarded Baltimore the first down.

First fucking down!

Several plays later, Baltimore kicked a game-tying FG and send the game into overtime. Both teams struggled in OT and we were getting Balt +1, so we were actually pulling for a tie. We already saw one unnecessary tie (SF/St. Louis) a couple weeks ago, how about another one? Alas, Baltimore finally got enough mustard on their hot dog and kicked a FG to win it with less than 2 minutes left in OT.

We won the bet, but more importantly, it came to fruition because one of the craziest, sickiest, most amazing efforts by a player to make a 4th down and 29. Ray Rice’s remarkable run was the proverbial one-outer that propelled us to 4-2 in the NFL or 8-3-1 since Turkey Day. If you go back to last Sunday… we’re 14-4-2… and running good.

***

Sunday’s NFL Sweat: Atlanta PK, Baltimore +1, Seattle -2.5, SF -1.5, OVER 37.5 STL/AZ, and OVER 48.5 ATL/TB

We made 5 picks and added a 6th (SF) when things weren’t progressing like we had hoped in the early games.

Seattle was up big, then choked against Miami. Maybe their momentum was thrown off by those wacky and wild sprinklers that went off during the game? Someone on the Dolphins’ groundskeeping staff must’ve been toking up and forgot to shut off the timer. Anyway, I shoulda known better… fade the Seachickens on the road, but bet the farm on them at home.

OVER in the ATL/TB missed by 1.5. We had a shot at the last second when ATL attempted a FG… but they missed (they actually ran a run play on third down for a loss of 5+ yards, which pushed them a smidge out of range). I can’t complain about that one… knew it was going to be a squeaker/coin flip and all I can ask is for a shot at covering.

We started 0-2 and delved into PANIC MODE, which was why it was time to call in SF -1.5 as a late game bail out to settle the nerves.

We won only one of the other early game wagers (Atlanta PK) and swept the late game wagers (3-0) to finish up 4-2 for the day.

The easiest wager was on the OVER in St. Louis/Arizona. HAL420 spit out a big number and we were surprised to see a line under 38. It was a gift… or free money as the saying goes.

Baltimore +1 was a tough sweat considering they were down 10 points late in the game. But then again, we were not betting on Baltimore as much as we were FADING NORV TURNER. Yes, fading the Norv was profitable once again as one of his teams choked in crunch time.

Lastly, we had the big matchup between an upstart New Orleans team and the Niners embroiled in a mini-QB controversy. Was Alex Smith going to be Wally Pipp to Kaepernick’s Lou Gehrig? The kid looked good in his debut against the Bears, which was impressive because it was against the Bears! Smith has always struggled since he was drafted by the Niners. However, ever since Harabugh became coach, Smith has flourished mostly because Harbaugh played QB and understands how a QB thinks. But all of a sudden, Harbaugh has more confidence in Kaepernick. That’s gotta rattle Alex Smith just a little bit.

Anyway… it was the Niners defense who really won the game. They figured out how to stop Drew Brees and picked him off a couple of times which lead to instant scores for the Niners. Kaepernick played a solid game and made a few plays that made you go “WOW!” but he also played like a rube at other times. I’m sure he’ll only get better with more snaps, but he’s definitely the future of the Niners.

The Niners won and we covered. That game pushed us over 4-2 for the day. Can’t complain one bit. The Niners became the difference between us with a meager and medium profit.

We passed on Sunday night football and we’re fading Philly for Monday Night Football.

The saddest news blurb I read? The Cheering Stops for Fireman Ed. On Sunday night, word got out that Fireman Ed (aka the Jets Superfan and a retired NYC fireman), hung it up and will no longer go to games because he’s sick of drunken Jets fans and haters picking fights with him during games. Thats what happens when he switched jerseys. He used to wear Bruce Harper and now he went with Sanchez. In one way, I don’t blame Fireman Ed…. he put his life on the line for 20 years saving people from fires and he doesn’t deserve that shit. On the other hand, it’s so fucking sad that Jets fans are divided by a rift caused over Tim Fucking Tebow and those fucking suits in Connecticut driving the wedge into Jets’ nation because of the ESPN’s prime directive to talk about Tebow every 15 minutes or someone gets fired.

*****

NBA Sunday Sweat: Brooklyn -5.5, UNDER 196.5 Raptors/Spurs, and Sixers -3.5

Rough Sunday in the NBA. We went 1-2 and lost both games in tragic fashion…. double overtime and a half a point.

We easily won Brooklyn -5.5 as they cruised to an easy victory, but we took a horrendous beat on the UNDER 196.5 in SA/TOR. The game was coming in waaaaay under and both teams struggled to score 90 points each as the clock ticked down in the 4Q. But something bad happened and the Spurs gave the TorRaptors a shot at tying up the game…. which they did and it went into OVERTIME. That sucked, but somehow we still had a chance to cover…. so long as there was not a second overtime. Well, guess what happened? A rookie on the Spurs missed a free throw in the closing seconds of OT and the TorRaptors forced a second OT. We lost the UNDER in the opening minutes of 2nd OT. So fucking tough.

We added a third game to try to get out of the funk. Except the Sixers beat PHX by only 3 points. We were laying 3.5. If we didn’t wait to almost tip off, we woulda got a much better number and pushed.

We slipped to 36-31-2 in the NBA this season. Such is life. We’re barely keeping our head above water in the NBA.

Filed under NFL Fireman Ed NBA